If Life gives you..

[Chandler the Litwick]

..give omnipotence to the dead, to prove Life wrong.

If life gives you Bookmarks..

[Fenrir]

...Read more books.

If life gives you Cadavers...

[Chandler the Litwick]

, consider medical school

If life gives you Perry the Platypus..

[Fenrir]

...do unfeasibly complex or resource-dependant things that should take years in a single day, repeatedly.

If life gives you a sinus headache...

[Celestia Fayette]

Poor boiling water down your nose and snort it at life.

If Life gives you a tity kitty..

[Fenrir]

...become an eighties action hero.

If life gives you a psycho stalker...

[Celestia Fayette]

Omygosh, kill him/her!

If Life gives you Clifford the Big Red Dog...

[Fenrir]

...build him a barn for a dog-house! who said the stalker is a him?

If life gives you bacon...

[Celestia Fayette]

apparently you did >_<

..Hide the pigs..

If live gives you a harem of thirty women...

[Fenrir]

...become sultan.

If life gives you that lady from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom...

[Celestia Fayette]

Throw her at the ants and use her as a surf board

If Life gives you a top hat..

[Fenrir]

lol...grow a spiffy mustache to match.

If life gives you a fedora...

[Celestia Fayette]

wear that thing like you have nothing else to wear. But please, actually wear something else, we all know you have other stuff to wear. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

If Life gives you bubbles...

[Fenrir]

have a bubble bath.

If life gives you a girl who never stops spinning...

[Celestia Fayette]

Spin with her!

If live gives you a boy who dislikes spinning girls...